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Delhi Between Buses by ~Remedies:iconRemedies:

Categories Literature > Prose > Fiction > Perspectives

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©2005-2009 ~Remedies
:iconremedies:

Author's Comments

Ride in an Indian city of thirteen million people


Based on actual events and originally written as a submission to a San Francisco based non-profit organization putting up Get On The Bus, 'a timely reconsideration of the experience, culture and meaning of [America]'s least-loved transit mode'.

The event was meant to support the bus as a daily means of transportation and would consist of an exhibition and published anthology of short stories revolving around the world of the bus, to be read while on a ride.

Quite unsurprisingly, this submission was not retained.


Feel free to print, as there is nothing like reading from a sheet of paper

Daily Deviation

Given 2007-06-11

Delhi Between Buses by *Remedies goes over thoughts of a bike ride on a busy street, or at least the end of it. Quiet, serene, and seems to have new layers each time it's read. (Suggested by `triptychr and Featured by `coshdaddy)

Comments


love 1 1 joy 3 3 wow 3 3 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icontriptychr:
`triptychr Mar 1, 2006, 6:30:26 AM
It looks like you have the markings of a travel writer (except you seem to live here, of course). But your in-depth descriptions of not only what's around you and what's going on, but also the atmosphere really lends itself to that genre.

The opening couple of sentences seemed just a little sloppy to me:

And I know there is another one right behind me, I can hear its brakes shrieking through my helmet when it comes too close to my back wheel. An intense, high pitched scream which sends shivers down my spine, getting louder as the driver puts more weight on the pedal to stop his monster from running over my motorbike.

I would have chosen to replace the first comma with a semicolon and probably add "It is" to the beginning of the second sentence. That's just me, though. It does little to keep this from being a fascinating read.

--
Life: There in 24 hours or your next day's free!
:iconremedies:
~Remedies Mar 4, 2006, 3:45:25 AM
Thank you very much for the comment.

You're probably quite right about the first sentences. I have a tendency to write long phrases without verbs which never fail to bring out a curvy underline accompanied by a threatening 'Fragment! Consider revising!'. As if.

I'm glad you appreciated the text. Feel free to read other pieces anytime, Singaporean skin or Hong Kong for more travel writing, or try The newspaper always comes flying through the early morning air for something completely different. Enjoy !

Matt
:iconlovetodeviate:
`lovetodeviate Nov 17, 2006, 3:20:09 AM
*sigh* Delhi.

I heard they have Metro now. Wonder what that's like.

--
Literature Gallery Moderator

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:iconremedies:
~Remedies Nov 29, 2006, 9:59:14 AM
Pretty much the same as in Singapore, Hong Kong or Bangkok.

Except that you time-swap by climbing a single flight of stairs, walking up from an asseptic automated underground mass rapid transit system towards Chandni Chowk's crowd, cows and richshaws... :)
:iconlovetodeviate:
`lovetodeviate Nov 29, 2006, 8:37:56 PM
:D

Have you read Khushwant Singh's Delhi? He does this lovely comparison between Delhi and Bhagmatic, his hijda whore.

--
Literature Gallery Moderator

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:iconremedies:
~Remedies Nov 29, 2006, 10:03:15 PM
He makes WHAT? A comparison between Delhi and his hijda whore???

That certainly is a singular comparison to make!

I return to Delhi as I return to my mistress Bhagmati when I had my fill of whoring in foreign lands. Delhi and Bhagmati have a lot in common. Having been long misused by rough people they have learnt to conceal their seductive charms under a mask of repulsive ugliness. It is only to their lovers, among whom I count myself, that they reveal their true selves.


Interesting, interesting.
:iconlovetodeviate:
`lovetodeviate Nov 30, 2006, 9:52:44 PM
One hell of a thing to have on the first page of your first chapter, I should think. :)

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:iconfallinghouse:
~fallinghouse Jun 11, 2007, 12:29:35 AM
I liked this very much. I think I'll have a look around at some of your other pieces.
:iconmary-yasha:
~mary-yasha Jun 11, 2007, 1:01:57 AM
this is great ^_^ I love how you go into detail with things, some of your language is fantastic, very few could draw in lots of readers with this subject matter, let alone a DD!
Congrates on that, by the way ^^
The end is nice as well, sort of calming. Anyway, this is great ^^

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\/\/|\|3dp@y.
:iconashenden:
Mood: Wow! ~Ashenden Jun 11, 2007, 1:33:15 AM
I'll admit that it was the word 'Delhi' that impelled me to read your piece. Having said that, I must add that I agree with everyone who's commented here. Your attention to detail is incredible! I could feel the whole thing, as if it happened to me. I was never on a bike 'between buses' in Delhi. But I was in Delhi and I was so scared of the buses. More like monsters, they seemed to me.

It's a wonderful bit of writing. Congratulations :)

--
A good photograph is knowing where to stand
- Ansel Adams

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